The art of healing is like an unroofed temple, uncovered at the top and cracked at the foundation.

— Benjamin Rush.

The theme of healing has always been something that has been present in my life and has played a vital role in my relationship with myself and those who are blessed enough to be in my presence.  Yes, I think that highly of myself and I recommend you all start doing the same. 

 If you were to ask the people in my life right now or even in the past I can guarantee that they left a completely different individual or they gained a better understanding of themselves, plus their self confidence probably grew significantly. The reason I’m saying this is because I encourage the people in my life to accept all aspects of themselves that means the good, great, terrible, dark, twisted, loving, and whatever else it maybe. When I meet people it just in my nature to try to read between the lines of bullshit that I’m fed on a daily basis, but the secret about me is I’ll pretend to believe whatever is being told to me so I can find out what’s really going on behind the mask that we as humans love to wear to people please. There’s nothing wrong with that but my concern  is that sometimes we can get too comfortable with the mask and forget about who we really are. Putting on a mask is so much easier than doing the work to heal ourselves. Think of the mask being a bandaid over our wounds that we are too afraid to deal with it. And I know some of you don’t want to hear that you are afraid, but it’s the truth because you are. Some of us have had bandaids on our wounds for so long that the bandaid is withered with blood and the wound is infected. 

The wound has become so infected that you’re scared to see what has festered under there. Well here’s the wake up call that some of you have been praying for because that shit needs to be treated bc I guarantee the infection has spread into other facets of your life and yes even your body. I’m here to tell you that you’re the only person who can heal  yourself not your friends, not your family, not your religious institution, bc the power to heal yourself was something you were born with. All of those things are guidance absolutely but at the end of the day it comes right back down to you. Some of y’all really just won’t tap in. All these signs telling you to tap in and you keep praying for answers when the creator is putting it in your face. Stop being afraid because fear is an illusion and stop being lazy bc it is not going to be healed overnight. Y’all keep praying but forget about patience. Do better.  I probably sound harsh but I’m not trying to be because I already know what needs to be done so why sugar coat it. I’m constantly working on aspects of myself that need some TLC, because the truth is healing never stops and I’m not perfect. People get so caught up with thinking that healing is a one stop shop and once you’ve dealt with whatever your wound is that you magically become this person without trauma. Like no there levels and trauma can be generational, so be prepared to commit your existence to dealing with triggers that you were never even aware of. Like for a lot of us we are the first ones in our families to even take mental health seriously because I know coming from a black family how that goes. Mental health is not considered a real thing. This was something that I picked up on a as a small child and started to understand more as I got older. That’s why I love psychology so much because I feel like my role in my family is to educate them on what they feel on a mental level and that it  holds significance and that they matter. And if you’re not black then start telling black people that what they feel matters because a lot of us are not use to society caring about what we feel or go through. It sucks even more when it feels like your peers and especially family don’t even care about your feelings. It’s tough because most people don’t even understand why black families view mental health the way they do. It’s pretty simple and it’s called systematic racism. Wow, who would’ve thought being oppressed, having your feeling invalidated, and your humanity invalidated as well would make you project those same feelings onto the people closest to you. Literally, black people’s entire existence has been invalidated since our ancestors were forced to come to this country. Slavery, Jim Crow, and the mass incareration (aka modern slavery) of blacks are just some big ones there somethings in between but you get the point. 

This is why knowing history is important and the impact of history on people mentally needs more attention. So, yes, trauma can be passed on through DNA and if you don’t believe me start reading about intergenerational trauma or the theory of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. Back to what I was saying tho.. Some of us are the first people in our families to take mental health seriously and trust me I know it’s scary speaking it up but that what our ancestors wanted for us to do. We have to heal ourselves in order to heal our future bloodlines and  in order to escape being mentally imprisoned by our minds. And mental imprisonment can be anything fear, anger, anxiety, depression, bipolar depression, borderline personality disorder, etc.

It just apart of life and I think that we have to stop looking at our trauma and mental states as negative because that how people profit of it and us. They are just states of being and easy to fall into the trap of society that tells you that it’s permanent. Nothing is permanent and change is inevitable. If you believe it’s permanent start this over and go back to where I talked about the bandaid.  It’s easy to believe it’s permanent because you can use it as an excuse to be lazy and says that’s just the way I am. That’s false and its time for you to work on rewiring your subconscious that’s all. One day y’all will wake up and realize how powerful the words you speak are. We internalize our own words and the opinions of others around us. No one is really chronically lazy, it’s just easier to accept being low vibrational when you’re surrounded and constantly around low vibrational energies. Before I continue, I know it easy to twist words around. Mental illnesses are very real, but they are just states of being when it comes down to it. It’s up to you to figure out what is in your environment that causes you to become stuck in these temporary states of being.  Bc when you think about it that’s all it really is, is being stuck. Being stuck in your head is a real bitch sometimes and it’s hard trying to get out sometimes. And it’s even harder decoding your mind on your own when their are so many distractions. That’s why I really do value my alone time with just myself. You can ask anyone I prioritize spending time by myself and we all really should. This is when you can begin to ask yourself deeper questions. Ask yourself about the company you keep? Do the people in your life build you up or tear you down? Does my environment make me feel at peace? How can I make my environment feel more peaceful?

Your environment can impact your mentality greatly. Like I said we internalize so much over the course of our existence, but most of us never take the time to examine it.  As a person who spends a lot of time in my head I at least want it to be a place that I enjoy being. So, I try to be intentional about how I view myself until I start to believe it and embody it bc words, affirmations, and mantras are powerful when it comes to rewiring the subconscious mind. I can’t give the exact way to go about dealing with mental health because at the end of the day we are all unique with different backgrounds, but the starting point is speaking up for your needs. Your needs will never be met if you do not voice them. Start off small, voice your needs to yourself and once you’re comfortable find a person or a group of people that you trust and that have given their consent to listening to you vent your most vulnerable thoughts. If that’s too much for my introverts out there trust me ya girl understand because anxiety is a real bitch sometimes. So introverts start journaling but journal like you’re speaking to someone who is giving you their undivided attention and not judging you for a damn thing. I mean that’s pretty much what I do with this.  If you do pick people to do this with make sure they are the non judgemental type, but also pick individuals that keep it real with you bc it not beneficial if you don’t know what to work on. I do know this though, when it comes to mental health the best type of therapy is expression. Expression can be anything that allows you to be your most authentic self. Bc I feel like a lot of our issues with our mental health comes with our inability to be ourselves. We are so afraid to take off our mask because of fear of judgement because we live in a world where we are judged on a daily basis. We are judged by our race, our income, our clothes, our body types, our sexual orientation, our vernacular, our religion or lack thereof, the cars we drive, the university we attend, and I could continue but you get the points its all superficial and its mentally taxing trying to keep up with the kardashians. You’re shamed if you accept yourself and who you really are, but that’s not okay. We are not meant to all be the same because we were all placed here with a specific purpose and it’s no one’s right to judge an individual for the path they decide to take and what they are called to do. And if you don’t know what you’re called to do. Still express yourself through whatever it may be. Drawing, writing, talking, dancing, Music, therapy, helping others, literally anything that makes you feel like you. Anything that makes you feel happy because you’ll start to gain a sense of self, identity, gratitude and worthiness. These types of things make it hard for your depression or anxiety or whatever you’re going through  to compete with but it takes patience and discipline. Try not to beat yourself up on the hard days, bc the hardest days mean your mind is working hard to keep you trapped when you’re the closest to breaking free. 

So, you know if this is resonating with any of you then take notes, come back to this when you need it, most importantly know that you’re never alone even when you think you are. You’re being guided down this path for a reason and believe it or not you were chosen and you’re being watched over by your ancestors because at the end of the day they wanna see you eat and win. My final message to those that are resonating with this heavily is that if you’ve been struggling with certain aspects of yourself it’s tough I’m not gonna bullshit you, but when the day comes for you to overcome your mind it will all make sense why you had to go through what you went through.